


all your darkest roads

by amberlazuli



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, M/M, mentions of internalized homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:26:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23425477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amberlazuli/pseuds/amberlazuli
Summary: “Nobody’s heard from him in the last day.  He missed practice this afternoon,” Yuta greets Kaoru with this when he returns from the beach the next week, and Kaoru is honestly more concerned about the lingering sand in his shorts than whatever weird vampire thing Rei’s currently up to.  “He’s not answering his phone.”(Or, what if the comment Rinne made about UNDEAD 'warming the beds of the industry bigwigs' wasn't so far off the mark after all?)
Relationships: Hakaze Kaoru/Sakuma Rei
Comments: 19
Kudos: 98





	all your darkest roads

**Author's Note:**

> This does include some spoilers from the main story of !! (most notably that Kaoru and Yuta are roommates while Ritsu still lives at home) and was heavily inspired by the section where Rei's reply to Rinne basically implying Undead is sleeping their way to the top was 'well, he's not wrong, though.' 
> 
> That being said, the dubcon in this isn't explicit, but please be aware that it's a fairly large focus of the fic.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay the night? You’re lovely.”

Rei tries not to shiver as the man’s fingers slide down to his hip, possessive on his skin in a way that makes him extremely uncomfortable. 

“It wouldn’t do to be caught here,” he keeps his voice as neutral as possible, smiling in the most disarming way he knows how. “I fear some of the other units are already suspicious.”

“Ah, of course, of course. But don’t be a stranger, hmm?” his fingers aren’t nearly as gentle now as they fist in Rei’s hair, yanking him down into a kiss that he most definitely  _ does not want  _ but that he can’t say no to. He tries his best to keep his fangs contained, to make it seem as if he’s fully neutered, but it goes against his very nature and it’s becoming harder and harder to tamp down the darkness that still lives within him. 

He’s doing it for the kids, he reminds himself. Koga and Adonis don’t deserve to suffer because of his bad decisions and his still-apparent inability to change with the times and make UNDEAD the powerhouse they were always meant to be. 

If it’s for them, he can put up with almost anything. 

“Of course not,” he finally replies, trying not to flinch when the man - who’s twice his age at least - has to give his ass a last squeeze on the way by. 

He dresses quickly, resisting the urge to shudder at the slickness between his thighs and the fact that he can’t shower right away to at least give himself the illusion of being clean. 

Traveling back to the dorms is uneventful, too, though the sight of ensemble square popping up in the midst of the city makes his stomach churn and he can feel bile rise in his throat. 

It’s just another reminder of the fact that they can’t escape it. Being idols has taken over every facet of their daily lives, and as much as he thought things would be better outside of Yumenosaki, right now everything that had gone on there feels like mere child’s play compared to what he’s facing now. 

He was already exhausted long before all of this, and right now, getting through each day is proving to be more of a struggle than ever. 

Luckily, it’s late enough in the evening that there aren’t too many people lingering about, and while the thought of showering  _ now  _ seems far too tiring to even consider...he has to. 

The water, as always, doesn’t do a whole lot more than physically cleansing him, but the heat from the steam makes him drowsy enough that he’ll probably sleep the night away like a normal human for once. 

How ironic, he thinks with a grin that freely bares his fangs, that despite that, right now he feels less human than ever. 

The man - one of a number of nameless industry executives that Rei has had the... _ pleasure _ ...of servicing over the past few months - had certainly not held back and Rei knows that walking is going to be a challenge come morning, but he’ll deal with that when it happens. 

He can’t handle anything else right now. 

-

“I’m worried about Sakuma-san.”

“Huh?” Kaoru finishes pulling his t-shirt on, shaking his hair out and idly checking the weather app on his phone to see if it’s warm enough to go surfing later. 

It’s Saturday, so technically UNDEAD doesn’t have any obligations, but there’s enough concern in the younger Aoi twin’s voice that Kaoru thinks  _ maybe  _ he should listen. 

“Haven’t you noticed that he’s been acting kinda...off lately? You’re his partner,” Yuta says it so matter-of-factly that Kaoru can’t help but flinch as if the words had physically struck him. 

“Ouch. You’ve kinda got a sharp tongue on you for a kid,” he replies, laughing it off in the only way he knows how before his own worries start to show through. “I haven’t seen him since yesterday afternoon, anyway.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Yuta sits down on his bed, looking at Kaoru intently. “He never really comes to our band circle anymore and he always looks tired. I mean. More than usual,” he amends, and Kaoru has to admit that he’s noticed the same thing. 

“Well, it’s not like he tells me everything, but I’ll see if I can figure out where he’s hiding later…” he shoulders his bag and heads for the door, surprised when he yanks it open only to see Rei himself standing there, hand raised as if ready to knock. 

“Rei-kun!”

“Ah, hello,” Rei smiles at him, something so warm about it that it makes Kaoru’s insides do funny things he’d rather  _ not  _ think too hard about. “Are you that surprised to see me?”

“Uhh...actually, I was looking for you! Wanna grab breakfast?” 

It’s a bad excuse and he knows it, but Rei really does look awful: the bags under his eyes are more noticeable than ever and when he straightens up, a flash of pain briefly crosses his face before it settles into a smile again. 

“I’d like that. And then this afternoon we can have band practice. Is that acceptable, Aoi-kun?” he raises his voice and Yuta replies, “yep, I’ll tell Aniki!”

“Right,” Kaoru steps around Rei, deciding to watch him closely today but not pry too much - not  _ yet _ , anyway, since he’s pretty sure he won’t get anything more than half-answers and vague dismissals. 

He’ll keep an eye on things, though. 

It’s all he can do right now. 

-

“I need to take my leave.”

“Aww, a few more hours won’t hurt ya! We haven’t even gone for round two yet,” the man is more stubborn than most and Rei lets himself be flung onto the bed - not that he has much choice, given that his hands are bound - and tries to keep his reactions in check. 

“Truly, it’s not my decision...should anyone discover I’ve been here…”

“Yeah, yeah, you pretty boys are all the same, huh? I’m not doling out charity,” he shoves a finger against Rei’s chest. 

“Then would you allow me to service you before I go? I  _ do  _ want to prove my gratitude is genuine,” he feels sick to his stomach to be offering such a thing but if it gets him out of here sooner, it’s for the best. 

“Huh,” the man grins at him. “Alright, then. You like to talk, so may as well put that mouth of yours to good use,” he grips a fistful of Rei’s hair and pulls him closer, seemingly uncaring about the fact that Rei can hardly keep his balance with his wrists restrained, but at this point Rei’s resigned himself fully to being a mere plaything. 

It’s not exactly  _ easy  _ to let his mind drift, though he tries his best, but by the time he leaves he’s got rope-burn on his wrists and a bitter taste in the back of his throat. 

Tonight had been...bad, he reflects, standing on the train to avoid needing to put any pressure on his backside. 

He only realizes he’s missed his stop when he hears the name of the next station being called, but try as he might, his feet simply won’t allow him to exit the car and wait for one heading in the opposite direction. 

He can’t go back. Not now. Not- 

The next announcement snaps him out of his spiraling thoughts and he realizes that, if he gets out now, he’ll only be a few blocks from home. 

_ Home. _

His coffin isn’t there anymore, but his room’s always had a bed regardless and the thought of being in his own space is overwhelming him right now. 

Ritsu should be there, anyway, and he at least won’t ask any questions so Rei feels completely safe about making this decision. 

Maybe he should text someone back at ensemble square, just to let them know where he’s staying, but all thoughts of being sensible and responsible fly out of his head when the door to his house opens and Ritsu takes one look at him before stepping aside and letting him enter. 

“You look awful,” is all his brother says, but Rei hears ‘get some rest’ in his tone and he’s all too happy to navigate the way to his old room, collapsing onto the bed without even bothering to undress fully. 

He’s asleep the moment his head hits the pillow. 

-

“Nobody’s heard from him in the last day. He missed practice this afternoon,” Yuta greets Kaoru with this when he returns from the beach the next week, and Kaoru is honestly more concerned about the lingering sand in his shorts than whatever weird vampire thing Rei’s currently up to. “He’s not answering his phone.”

“You know he’s still awful with technology, right?” Kaoru tilts his head to the side, wondering if he still has water in his ears or something because Yuta seems incapable of a topic that isn’t Rei. “And it’s the middle of the day.”

“True, but...I dunno, something just doesn’t feel right,” Yuta’s obviously pouting and Kaoru’s soft enough that he doesn’t want the younger man to be sad so he sighs in resignation and digs his phone out. 

“Have you tried calling his brother?”

“Yeah. No answer there, either,” Yuta replies. “I don’t know who else would…”

“Wait,” Kaoru catches a flash of color out of the corner of his eye and peers down at the courtyard, seeing a certain red-head hurrying across the space with his arms full of books. “If we can’t get to his brother, I think I’ve just found the next best thing. Stay here in case Rei-kun comes looking for me,” Kaoru grabs a coat since evening is coming and pockets his phone, rushing out the door before Yuta has a chance to respond. 

-

“Why do you think I’d know?” Mao drops his books on a nearby table and sighs heavily, swiping the back of his arm across his forehead. 

And okay, admittedly Kaoru could have gone about this in a more delicate way than simply accosting him, but maybe he’s a  _ little  _ more worried than he’s letting on right now. 

Just a little, though. 

“You might be the only person alive who can get his brother to actually talk to you and right now he might be the only one who knows where Rei-kun is,” he gets the words out in a rush and Mao looks around, seemingly content once he’s convinced nobody is in earshot. 

“He’s at home,” Mao says quietly, and Kaoru’s eyes widen a little because it seems so  _ obvious  _ even if the thought had never crossed his mind. “Ritsu didn’t give me any details but he made it clear that nobody should disturb him. I’m only telling you because you’re…”

“His partner. Yeah. And some partner I’m being right now, huh,” he scratches the back of his neck and stares up at the ceiling. 

“For what it’s worth, I think he’d want to see you,” Mao’s still not giving anything away but it’s as much permission as Kaoru needs. 

“Right. I’ll go...yeah. I’ll go,” he decides, waving before sprinting out of the main hall and heading for the nearest station. 

-

“No,” is all Ritsu says when he knocks on the door, but Kaoru just knocks louder until the younger Sakuma yanks it open and glares at him. “Oh. It’s you.”

“Yeah. Your boyfriend told me he was here, so,” Kaoru scuffs his boot against the front step. 

“My...Maa-kun’s not my boyfriend,” Ritsu mutters, something wistful in his expression before he shakes his head. “Anyway. Don’t…” he sighs and looks away. “Don’t pressure him, okay? Not that I care about Anija that much but this is...well. You’ll find out,” is all he says, which doesn’t really fill Kaoru with hope, but he bows to Ritsu in thanks and kicks his shoes off before hurrying down the hall to Rei’s room. 

He’s been here before, though honestly not that often, and while his feet remember the way it still feels like intruding when he slips inside and closes the door softly behind him. 

“Rei-kun?” he asks as he enters, though right now all the detail he can see is a human-sized lump under the blankets. “Hey…”

“Mm?” Rei’s voice sounds raspier than usual, more than merely sleep would make it, and Kaoru wonders vaguely if he’s sick or something - can Rei even  _ get  _ sick? - as he moves closer. 

“Hi,” Kaoru says gently, sitting down on the edge of the mattress and watching as Rei’s eyes focus on him, a smile crossing his lips as he sees who’s there. 

“Kaoru-kun,” Rei sighs, one hand sneaking out from under the covers to grope listlessly in Kaoru’s direction, and Kaoru places his own over it on instinct, trying not to shiver at the iciness of Rei’s fingers. “You came.”

“Uh, yeah? The younger twin said you missed practice today and nobody’s heard from you so I kinda had to,” Kaoru shrugs, still unwilling to bring his own worries into it. 

“Practice? What time…”

“Almost dinner,” Kaoru replies, tightening his fingers over Rei’s, and he looks down for the first time. “What happened to your wrist?” 

It’s hard to see in the dim light, since of course the blinds are drawn, but there’s a circle of raw, bruising skin around Rei’s delicate wrist and it seems too suspicious to overlook. 

“Mm...nothing…” Rei still sounds half-asleep and he shifts over a little, the blanket slipping to reveal his bare shoulders. 

There are bruises littering his neck and chest, continuing low enough that Kaoru’s sure they go under what the blanket is concealing, and while he had never put it past Rei to be into some pretty kinky shit...something about it just doesn’t feel right. 

“Rei-kun? If something’s up…”

“I’m fine,” Rei sounds decidedly  _ not  _ fine and it’s worrying enough that Kaoru doesn’t feel bad about pressing, not this time. 

“Look, if it’s anything I can help with, shouldn’t you tell me? As your partner, I mean,” he knows it’s hypocritical to play that card given how he’s actively  _ not  _ been thinking of himself that way, but the situation also kind of warrants it right now. 

“Partner, hmm?” Rei’s teasing, but even that sounds half-hearted at best. “Regardless, I don’t feel as if this is something you can help me with. I have it under control,” he pats Kaoru’s hand and withdraws, pulling the blankets higher again. 

“The kids are worried, y’know? Not just the twins, I mean, and I feel like if this has anything to do with UNDEAD, we deserve to know,” he tries not to sound too harsh but it seems to slip into his tone anyway, and he doesn’t think anyone can blame him. Rei’s always had his secrets, and he thrives on being mysterious, but now of all times isn’t the place for it. 

“Mm, in a way, I suppose it does,” Rei hums, cocooning himself further in the bedding. “But my actions have secured us steady work for the next couple of months, so there’s no need to worry.”

“I mean, okay, but you still could have consulted us? We could have helped, since...wait,” he frowns, because something’s starting to form in the back of his brain and he desperately, _desperately_ wants to be wrong about it. 

“Rei-kun? What actions?”

“Ah, silly me, revealing too much,” Rei mumbles into the pillow and Kaoru leans across the bed. 

“Seriously, you wouldn’t have mentioned it if it hadn’t related somehow,” Kaoru shakes his shoulder gently. “Tell me.”

“Hmm,” Rei pauses after that, peering at Kaoru from behind his blanket curtain. “Do you recall when the leader of Crazy:B made those statements during our live?”

“I mean, he said a lot of crap that day,” Kaoru thinks back, trying to narrow down what Rei’s referring to. 

“Specifically the part about us warming the beds of the entertainment industry bigwigs,” Rei says it so casually that Kaoru almost doesn’t register the meaning of the words, but when he finally  _ gets it  _ it’s like his brain has ground to a complete halt. 

“What?” he whispers, his fingers clenched in the sheets. “Don’t tell me you…”

“I said he wasn’t wrong, didn’t I?” Rei grins, the smile not reaching his eyes at all, and Kaoru feels like he’s going to throw up. 

“You  _ didn’t _ .”

“Of course I did. Multiple times. You see, the systems set in place by our dear former emperor leave UNDEAD at a distinct disadvantage, and in order to prevent us falling out of the rankings completely, a decision had to be made. It was, quite honestly, the only choice I had.”

“There’s always other choices!” Kaoru doesn’t mean to raise his voice but it happens, the words nearly cracking with the volume. “You could have talked to us!”

“And let you worry?” Rei replies with a long sigh. “If I had let on how badly we were really doing, all of your would have been fretting constantly instead of focusing on work.”

“I mean, that’s kinda natural? Of course we’d worry! We all care about UNDEAD,” Kaoru frowns, because Rei can be stubbornly obtuse at the best of times but this is extreme even for him. “Like, what’s the point of our whole ‘we are UNDEAD’ thing if it’s just you making the decisions for us?”

“I thought it would be easier,” Rei murmurs, finally popping out from the blankets again. “Things were supposed to get better and it’s likely my own inability to move forward and adjust that’s limiting that.”

“Hey, don’t blame yourself,” Kaoru pats the lump of blankets. “All of us can work harder. We slacked off a lot at Yumenosaki because we could get away with it, but things are different now and we’ll adjust and face them together. That’s how it should be, right?”

Rei’s silent then, obviously thinking, but eventually he reaches a hand out again and Kaoru grips his fingers more tightly this time. “We have a bit of leeway. As I said, my efforts have gained us jobs for at least a couple of months, so provided we take the opportunities presented to us, no doubt they may lead to further employment.”

“That’s good,” Kaoru assures him. “I mean, what you had to do to get here isn’t good, but…”

“Mm,” Rei makes a noise that could be agreement and burrows down again, though he keeps holding Kaoru’s hand. “You can leave now, if you wish.”

“Do you want me to leave?” Kaoru asks softly, because abandoning Rei in this state isn’t really something he’s keen on right now. 

“Quite honestly, no. But what I would ask of you is something you likely won’t agree to, so perhaps it’s for the best,” his voice gets progressively more muffled. 

“Honestly, try me.”

“Alright, alright,” Rei sits up, shaking his head, his matted hair sticking up in odd ways as it settles to the idea of him being upright. “Last night I was in a very bad place and I didn’t...have the energy to even cleanse myself properly. I…” he stops, looking directly at Kaoru. 

“You...want me to help you shower? Is that it?” Kaoru can feel some of his old walls slamming up and angrily tries to push them down because he’s cool with guys these days, he really is, but old habits truly do die hard, it seems. 

“Yes. Specifically I’d like your help in cleaning some areas that are…” he waves his free hand before frowning, pulling it to his face and wrinkling his nose at the marks around his wrist. “Well.”

“Alright. Yeah,” Kaoru says it before he can manage to talk himself out of this. “Shit, after everything you’ve done, I can handle this.”

“You can leave your underwear on if you’d like,” Rei assures him. “I promise I’m not trying to make a move on you.”

“Right,” Kaoru laughs, taking the edge of the blanket and carefully drawing it down to Rei’s waist. “Come on, then. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Mm, I don’t deserve such good children,” Rei yawns, his fangs flashing in the dim light, before he stands up and immediately freezes, a tiny squeak slipping from his lips. “Ah.”

“Hey,” Kaoru scrambles to the other side of the bed, sliding an arm around his waist and holding him steady. “It’s alright, I’ve got you.”

“Thank you,” Rei leans fully against him and he’s  _ so  _ cold, colder than usual, so Kaoru holds him closer as they stagger into the attached washroom. 

He manages to stand on his own and gets his pants off, and Kaoru is pointedly  _ not looking  _ as he strips down to his underwear. They’ll get wet, but that’s fine - he can borrow a pair of Rei’s pajamas or something since he’s definitely not planning on leaving the older man alone tonight. 

Rei’s got the shower on by the time Kaoru’s psyched himself up to do this, but he flinches as soon as he steps in because it feels like the water’s turned up as high as it can go and it honestly  _ hurts.  _

“Woah, let’s just…” he yanks the tap back about halfway as Rei lets out a little whining noise. “Here, lean against me if you’re still cold,” he offers without thinking, realizing moments later what a bad idea it was because Rei is most certainly naked and that’s a  _ lot  _ of skin-to-skin contact. 

“Mm, thank you,” Rei says again, closing his eyes, and Kaoru shifts them a little so that he can reach a nearby washcloth and wet it properly. 

“Spread your legs a little,” he tries not blush saying the words but it’s kind of impossible, even if luckily Rei takes pity on him and complies without making any sort of comment. 

Kaoru swallows and reaches down, running the cloth gently between Rei’s legs and keeping his fingers inside of the barrier that the fabric provides. It’s not purely because of his own insecurities this time, but he figures Rei’s probably had enough of random hands on him and he’s trying to be as courteous as possible.

Rei seems calm enough, his eyes half-closed as he lets Kaoru carry most of his weight. He hums a little and Kaoru figures that means he’s doing something right, so he keeps gently moving his hand. 

“Do you want me to wash your hair?” he asks and Rei shrugs. 

“If you don’t terribly mind,” Rei yawns, nuzzling his neck. He’s completely pliant and Kaoru maneuvers them around again so he can reach the shampoo, and by the time he’s done he’s not convinced Rei hasn’t fallen asleep standing up. 

It’s fine, since he deserves to be comfortable, and Kaoru makes sure Rei’s properly dried off and back under the covers before he worries about taking care of his own dripping hair. 

He manages to find a t-shirt and sweats with minimal digging through Rei’s things and makes his way to the kitchen, not entirely surprised to see Ritsu there with a waiting plate and a glass of tomato juice. 

“Here. Don’t tell him I got this ready for him,” Ritsu shoves both at him. “But seriously, thanks for coming.”

“Yeah. Of course. I’m thinking we’ll stay the night, if you don’t mind,” he figures he should ask since Ritsu is  _ technically  _ the only one living here now. 

“Of course,” Ritsu yawns and slumps over to the fridge, peering into it before pulling out a container that seems to be smoking slightly and Kaoru figures that’s his cue to leave. 

The concoction on the plate he’s holding isn’t much more appealing, since it’s neon-green and appears to be...wiggling...but he’s long since given up trying to understand the Sakumas and if Rei wants to eat it, more power to him. 

“Hey, I’m back!”

Rei shakes himself awake and sits up against the headboard, seemingly unbothered by the look of the...well, if Kaoru has to guess, he would call it dessert, but that’s the best he can come up with. 

“Ah, do you have refreshments?” 

“Uh, I guess so?” Kaoru passes the plate over and sets the glass on the nightstand, but if Rei’s turned off at all by the appearance of the food, he doesn’t show it and tucks in with surprising eagerness. Kaoru hovers uncertainly until he finishes, noting with some relief that Rei’s mood seems to have been bolstered quite a bit. 

“Kaoru-kun,” Rei says gently, beckoning him closer. “You’re not going to leave this old man alone tonight, are you?”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but I mean...I didn’t know if you’d want to share your bed,” he waves a hand awkwardly and Rei chuckles. 

“If it’s you I certainly have no qualms about it. Come here,” he draws the covers back and Kaoru reminds himself that yes, Rei’s still naked, but somehow it’s not nearly as intimidating a thought as it used to be. 

“Alright,” Kaoru slides under the blankets, not entirely surprised when Rei cuddles up to him immediately. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Rei mimics him, giving him a toothy grin. “I wasn’t in the proper frame of mind earlier, but I really do appreciate you being here.”

“I know. It’s cool,” Kaoru promises, letting his hands trail down Rei’s back. “I just want you to be safe, y’know? So we’ll figure this out.”

“I would...appreciate it if you didn’t tell the others what I’ve been doing to procure us work so far,” Rei murmurs against his shoulder. “We can make up some half-truth if necessary, but…”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Kaoru nods. “They don’t need to know.”

“Good,” Rei seems content with that and lets out a heavy sigh, his legs tangling with Kaoru’s under the blankets. It’s intimate, but not in a way that makes Kaoru feel like running, and right now he doesn’t want to think too much about why that is. “This may be entirely the wrong time to bring this up, but I feel as though any shame I might have had is left far behind me now.”

“Hmm?” Kaoru’s idly playing with Rei’s hair now, twining the dark strands around his fingers before letting go. 

“Regardless of what I’ve done in the past few months, there’s only one person I’ve truly wanted in my bed for...an awfully long time now,” he says the words quietly, like he’s afraid Kaoru will bolt when he figures it out, but considering Rei’s not exactly subtle at all Kaoru can’t say that he’s shocked to hear it. 

It’s more of a surprise that he hasn’t stated it so explicitly before, quite honestly, but Kaoru still isn't quite sure how to react given their current situation. 

“I know,” he says instead, since that at least should have the effect of stopping Rei from needing to explain further. “It’s...it’s cool.”

“Good, then. I don’t want to scare you off,” Rei’s noticeably stiffer now and Kaoru feels a surge of protectiveness that’s entirely new because Rei has always been  _ so  _ untouchable and worldly and made Kaoru feel like a child despite the fact that there’s really not much of an age difference between them. 

“You’re not,” Kaoru says softly. “You should know that I’m...mostly okay with liking guys now.”

“Oh, you’ve come a long way,” Rei agrees lightly. “But that hardly means I’m one of those guys.”

“I mean, not that you need to hear it, but like...I’m pretty sure 95% of people that meet you are into you,” Kaoru’s teasing, sort of, even though subconsciously he knows that the Rei most of their fans fantasize about is a far cry from his real personality. 

...Not that he’s one to talk, really. 

“And you’re saying that you’re one of those people,” Rei’s obviously determined to get an answer and Kaoru doesn’t really see the need to be evasive anymore. 

“Yeah. I mean, I’m still...but yeah. With you, I think I’d be okay with it,” he admits, hearing Rei hum in response. 

“Good. This is useful information,” Rei pulls himself up a little so they’re facing each other properly. “But I told you I wasn’t coming onto you tonight and I meant that. You deserve my full attention and my…” he wrinkles his nose. “Ugh. I suppose I’ll need to get tested now.”

“I mean, me aside, I think that’s a good idea anyway,” Kaoru smiles and nudges his nose playfully against Rei’s. “I’m glad I’m worth waiting for, though.”

“I’ve been waiting for years, so I suppose I can hold out a little longer,” Rei tilts his chin up so he can kiss Kaoru’s forehead. “Until later.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Kaoru isn’t entirely surprised when their hands find each other, fingers twined loosely together. “But just sleep for now, okay? We don’t have to go back to the dorms until tomorrow night.”

“Right,” Rei adjusts the blankets a little and falls asleep within a matter of moments, something that would be surprising had Kaoru not seen it a ton of times over the years. 

At this point, there’s really not much of Rei that he  _ hasn’t  _ seen, but that’s encouraging since it must mean that Kaoru...actually  _ likes _ him. 

Huh. 

“Sleep well, Rei-kun,” he closes his own eyes, the words slurring as they leave his mouth. “You deserve it.”

It’s comfortable like this, even if Rei’s perpetually cold, and Kaoru finds it remarkably easy to follow Rei into slumber. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Halsey's 'Graveyard.'
> 
> Please do feel free to leave a comment if you're so inclined, and if you want to yell with me about idols on twitter, I'm at [_mikarashis](https://twitter.com/_mikarashis)!


End file.
